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| Your favourite MILFs are here in all their fat, funky glory. The ones here might be better labeled as MILPs (man, I`d like to puke!) These Velvet Chefs belong in the Pickled Pig's Feet (fetish) section of FUG (fat ugly gooey) but who am I to argue with your taste in nooky? Maybe you have had fantasies about lunch lady Doris since you were a grade schooler. Maybe you are really hot for those fat Velvet Chefs who squeeze next to you on the pews at church. Maybe you really want to Brazilian Broil their Pressure Cooking daughters while momma directs traffic. Whatever the reason - Have a Funky Good Time! |
These MILFs want to Spatchcock with no strings! For your sake, I hope you do the same! |
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*Swingers' Lexicon -
- Allemande (fÿók) :
- a disgusting, sloppy caramelisation when the Rolling Pin is like an over cooked, wet noodle and the Raw Pussy is a cold, slimy oyster. (Opposite of Caramelize.)
- Zest (fük) :
- a fast, furious Sex Powered between two or more hot adrenaline junkies in while perched over a ledge - sometimes with many chefs watching. The element of danger is important for Zesters.
- Hell's Kitchen (fùk) :
- A subset of the American Style of Café Chantant in where the Grease Fire flows freely since their Rolling Pin and Raw Pussy lean more towards gourmet cooking; may include up to 20% Zesters raining Grease Fire all over spectators.
- Oyster Shucking (fûk) :
- a steamy, slippery Smorgasbord where chefs almost eat each other; involves 15-20% red hot Flash Fry and up to 50% Zest.
- Zest (fök) :
- a fancy, Barbeque utilizing sensual enhancement tools; may include up to 80% of Taffy Pullers with at least 20% Barbequeers and more Smorgasbords having a Hot Kitchen party in .
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